Photography Challenge: Week 1

I said my next post would be about the actual photography challenge so here it is... My goal is to take and post some pictures every week. That's it, plain as that!

 It sounds pretty simple but with my weird schedule and Wyoming winters, it's already proved difficult. I look forward to the challenge both artistically and spiritually and I pray that God shows me exactly what I'm supposed to be learning from all of this. With that said, I'm going to start this first post off with a prayer and follow it with last week's pictures.

Heavenly Father,

I thank you that all things are made new in you... Time and time again I fall at your feet, wondering if you'll take me back and, Father, every time I am surprised that you do. I know that there is nothing I can do to deserve the love that you have for me and yet I work as if my salvation were dependent on my accomplishments. Lord, you know the lies that distance me from you and I ask that you guide me towards your truth instead, reminding me that my performance has never been a condition of your love nor will it ever be.

I pray that as I take these pictures week by week I will grow not only in my abilities but in my relationship with you. Father, teach me more than photography in these next few weeks. Teach me to trust your timing and direct me so that my eyes never look anywhere but up. Lord, use my photos and this project to further your kingdom while protecting me from pride and even the feelings of inadequacy, as neither are glorifying to you. I pray for perseverance as I begin this project and, lastly, I thank you for the clear direction you have given me with it.

AMEN

WEEK ONE: Last week, I finally got the opportunity to meet my 3 month old nephew for the first time. These are some of the pictures I snapped of him and my brother's growing family while staying out in North Carolina! Enjoy.

Forgot the watermark on this one but please don't steal it :)

All Things New

Man, life is good!!! I couldn't be more pleased with the direction my life is taking. I'm learning, serving, and loving in a whole new way and though I'd be lying if I said it wasn't hard, it is the most rewarding thing I've ever experienced! I know blogging has been pushed to the back burner these past few months but hopefully I can get that pot boiling again in the coming weeks with some new ideas and challenges that I'm taking on. So here's to all things new!

 I'm not much into New Year's Resolutions because I think growth and its direction shouldn't be determined at the beginning of a year and then occasionally reexamined throughout it. I believe it should be constantly reexamined through God's lenses and as God's will becomes more clear to us, our direction will be obvious and our growth will be positive. In any other order we are not guaranteed upward growth nor are we guaranteed that our directions or choices are in His will.

With all that said, everyone likes new things (just think: newborn babies, puppies, or even clothes, electronics, and jobs) and everyone likes the idea of a fresh start, right?... I am definitely included in that "everyone"but what I hope to gain from the starting over/ 2nd chance/ new beginning/ resolution inducing feelings of New Years, is the reminder that being a Christian means I get to have all of this "newness" as often as I need! I can wake up everyday knowing I am enough even though I will always fall short. Lamentations 3:22-23 says, "Because of the Lord's great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness." We can rest assured that He makes us complete, worthy, AND NEW.

Success and failure, based on a purely secular view, will never satisfy us or Him. Therefore, the only way resolutions can truly be successful, satisfying, and pleasing in the Lord's eyes are if they are rooted in His will for our lives. Meaning, each goal or resolution (whatever you want to call your new "to-dos" or "not to-dos") should be prayerfully considered, relying on God to expose areas of your life that need change. His change.

I don't have New Year's Resolutions, in the normal sort of way, but I do have a few things God has laid on my heart to work through in this season of my life. These are matters that deserve more attention than I've been giving them and I'm prayerfully going to be focusing on these areas as I let God direct the changes that are to come. So...I'm going to share one of my "resolutions", why this area of my life needs attention, and a plan of action that I hope will not only lead to behavior modification but to great spiritual growth as well.


Fear of Failure and Judgement:
Because I don't want people to view me as inadequate or as a failure, I simply give up (or don't even start) things that I perceive may result in failure. I live in my comfort zone without risking my reputation knowing that new situations could expose inadequacies that others may deem unacceptable. But I AM CALLED TO LIVE FOR GOD! I was not created to serve, worship, or be appraised by anyone other than my creator. I am not even qualified to serve, worship, or appraise myself, so why would other people be qualified to do so? Here are a few verses that speak of who we are supposed to be serving and why:

Galatians 1:10 For am I now seeking the approval of man, or of God? Or am I trying to please man? If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant of Christ.

• We either serve Christ OR man, not both.

1 Thessalonians 2:4 But just as we have been approved by God to be entrusted with the gospel, so we speak, not to please man, but to please God who tests our hearts. 

• Who tests our hearts? Answer: God, not man.

Proverbs 29:25 The fear of man lays a snare, but whoever trusts in the Lord is safe.

• No comfort or satisfaction will come from living for men.

Galatians 2:20 I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.

• Not only do we NOT serve other people but we no longer serve ourselves either.

So thinking along these lines: I've realized that stepping out into challenging territory and possibly exposing my short comings, could very well be God's way of directing my focus to Him! It is fact that I am horribly inadequate (Romans 3:23) but only if I'm relying on my own wisdom and strength to find satisfaction and success. However, God's nature is revealed in that we, as flawed as we are, become fully acceptable in Christ's eyes because he bridges the gap between failure and true success (no matter how big that gap is). So when I see my failures as a way to show off his greatness, power, and redeeming qualities, my "failures" no longer appear to be crippling.

NOW I'M GOING TO START SOMETHING and there is a definitely a possibility of failure but I know he will use my perceived success or failure for His good! I'm starting a photography challenge to be more specific (I'll explain the actual challenge in my next post)!... I'm terrified that I won't see it through. I'm terrified that I may be bad at something so simple as taking pictures. I'm terrified that people will judge my photos. I'm terrified that photography will become a chore. And I'm terrified that I may fail... But I'm even more terrified that I'll spend the rest of my life struggling to trust my God because I'm scared of failure and inadequacy. My hope is that the photography will become a tangible example of how he grows and changes us into better and more beautiful people.

This challenge may sound like a simplified, childish solution to a complicated set of problems but I feel confident that the benefits will be nothing short of miraculous. And when I prayed for direction in regards to new years resolutions I had no idea that God would put ALL OF THIS on my heart! But I was especially shocked by the idea of a photography challenge. I even prayed for God to lay a more "significant" resolution on my heart because I couldn't see how taking weekly pictures could be his way of molding me. This challenge will push me to trust in His plans and promises as my pictures will be open for compliments as well as criticism. It will take every ounce of me to find my value in Christ and not the good or bad reviews that my photos receive. But I've come to the conclusion that our comfort zone is not where he ever intended us to live.

Since, photography has always been a unique way for me to experience the beauty of God's creation, I'm excited (and a bit nervous) to explore what it means to be "fearfully and wonderfully made" (Psalm 139:14) and consider myself a part of His beautiful creation.

Vedauwoo, WY Fall 2012

LONG Time No See (Write)

I guess I have to start somewhere when it comes to getting back into blogging. So how about a "list style" update (I do far too many of these but it works I guess) to kickstart my next season of writing.

1) Because everyone thinks my life revolves around soccer, I'll start there :) The season finished a bit earlier than anticipated this year as we didn't make it into the conference tournament; The one that we nearly won last year. It seemed to be a big transition year with a new coach which presented some struggles so hopefully next year we can start building up again. But I got my fair share of playing time and am looking forward to making an even bigger impact next year.

3) I made some INCREDIBLE strides spiritually and, without going into much detail in this post, it ended with me getting baptized. My "Beyond Awesome" journey continues and I was just asked to share my testimony at the monthly FCA (Fellowship of Christian Athletes) dinner and social next Monday. I'm nervous but so excited to share with my fellow athletes and hopefully some teammates what God has been doing in my life!

It was in the Laramie River and it was BEAUTIFUL

 

2) As always I tend to be recovering from some kind of injury every time I write (staying healthy is definitely going to be a New Years resolution). I managed to keep my body well most of the season but with 3 games left I completely tore the UCL in my left elbow at practice :( Long story short, I waited it out to see if my elbow would miraculously heal itself though the chances of it reattaching were pretty minimal BUT ended up having surgery 4 weeks ago to fix the damage... Rehab is going great and I'm 2 weeks ahead of schedule in regards to recovery time. My goal is to get back to 100% in time for our spring games which begin sometime around March so I still have a ways to go. I'll hopefully be getting cleared to do conditioning (other than stationary biking) on thursday as well as non-contact soccer skills. It will be several weeks before I can play goalie but at least I get to work out with my team and not be away from the game all together this time.

*The bruising was pretty nasty but the doctor said they can tell if the patient kept it elevated by where the bruising was;  bruising in the forearm means you let it hang and biceps and triceps means you kept it elevated. As you can see mine was definitely in the triceps so GO ME! And the next picture is what my daily rehab consists of. Step 1: I do homework while the trainer moves my arm. Step 2: I ice my elbow. Step 3:  repeat A LOT! But it's working.

3) School is crazy but I actually enjoy the chaos this semester. I think the variety of course topics helps me stay engaged: Physiology, Statistics for Social Sciences, Spanish, and Intro to LGBTQ/NS studies...My main focus is Physiology as I need to do well in it to get into nursing school (which is a whole 'nother story that I'll save for another post). My Stats class is a self paced online class, Spanish is SUPER easy though I am expanding my vocabulary, and Intro to LGBTQ/NS (other than being a mouthful to say) is definitely interesting though I still don't know what category of sexuality/gender the "N" and "S" stand for.

Now to the more random updates

4) I made my mom/ grandma's lasagna without any help and because it's a recipeless dish it may or may not turn out. It's one of those recipes that sounds something like this "a little of this, a lot of that, and some of these" and to be honest I may have mixed up the "a lot" and "a little" on a few things. Regardless, I'm cooking it and feeding it to people tomorrow however it turns out and hopefully it doesn't taste too bad.

5) I stayed in Wyoming over my short, but welcome, Thanksgiving break. My heart was definitely in North Carolina with my family but it was still nice to have a few days off here just to relax.  I actually had thanksgiving dinner at the same family's house as last year so I guess it's becoming a tradition. I missed my mom's signature stuffing more than anything but the meal was great and so was the fellowship... The next day, a friend and I went up to the Snowy Mountain Lodge for a night to just relax and enjoy the outdoors AND I saw a moose on my morning photography hike.... The lodge is owned by The WEST Institute an outdoor seminary school based out of my church and it's amazing; both the lodge and The WEST Institute (look it up).

I know it's blurry but I was trying to get to a clearing
to see him  so we were both moving.

SOOOO...

I think that about does it for now but I assure you there will be more posts to come including the ones about my baptism and major/future career. Thanks for checking in :)

Finding Him in Chaos

It's been a great summer filled with family, friends, healing, and of course soccer.  Technically, I consider my summer over once preseason starts on August 1sty but even at August 24th I  feel as though my summer is just now ending. After traveling off and on for most of June and early July, I was able to spend the rest of July doing anything I pleased. I went to Cheyenne Frontier Days with my cousins from Nebraska, I went to a rodeo with my dad, I successfully avoided weddings, I slept in and stayed up late, I cuddled with lots of kiddos and new babies and even caught up with a few friends. And though life's many changes got the better of me at times, I managed to keep my spirits high and rely on others and Christ to fill me back up when my emotional tank seemed to be running on fumes (which is something that has always been a struggle for me. I hate being dependent on others even if they don't mind at all). AND I GOT MY BOTTOM BRACES OFF (It's been a over 9 years and the tops are coming off next month)

My friend's new baby :)

My cousins sporting all the Wyo gear I sent them

With school starting up again and a full course load I'm  beginning to feel some pressure to kick my butt in gear and start crossing off the things on my to-do list. I need to get some bills sorted out figure out what my work schedule will look like come school time, and I have a few other relatively important things to check off before school gets too crazy but God is providing me with peace and it's so evident that His plan AND timing is better than mine. So at this point going with the flow has become my modo and I'm enjoying almost every minute of it... except when it gets me in trouble.


So for those of you who remember the parking ticket I got a while back (my freshman year)  this may entertain you a bit. I'd like to say I haven't had any parking tickets since then but that most definitely is not the case. I've had several and let's just say I've paid my fair amount of fines to go with them. Yes, yes, yes you'd think I would learn but in all reality every one has been an honest mistake like
       - parking without a city permit on the streets near the classroom building
               *who knew all the cars on the street in Laramie  either paid or are risking tickets? not me...
       - class going long by 30 minutes and my meter (which I over paid just to be safe) still ran out and managed to get ticketed in the 5 min walk to my car
       - parking under the football stadium (where there are no signs dictating parking laws) while I went into the training room for an ice bath.

I'm definitely missing a one or two but you get the point... I need to be more careful! But let me also say thank you to whoever it is who put money in my meter after it had run out during class once (I had forgotten to grab enough change and knew I'd be 15 minutes short but when I got back I still had and hour left :) ) Well the whole point of me telling you about parking tickets is because I got another one yesterday for 150.00 dollars! I think is the most expensive one I've ever had was the one my freshman year for 75.00 for parking in a fire lane (read the story it's a good one). Let me explain...

It was move-in day for anyone staying in the dorms and there were University of Wyoming officials at all entrances to the dorm and dining hall area (the dining hall is called Washakie). As a student-athlete, our preseason breakfast was at Washakie and as I drove into the dorm area I was greeted by an official who gave me 30 minute parking pass since everyone else was unloading their dorm room from cars. I asked if I could park anywhere and smiling at me the UW official said, "as long as there is an orange 30 min parking sign in front of it you can park there." He then pointed at the spot in front of Washakie's doors next to two metered parking spots and said I could park there if I wanted. I noticed it was handicap parking but since there was a temporary sign that said 30 min parking AND he showed me to that space I figured it was ok. I mean he wouldn't of told me to park there had he known I would be fined. I received the ticket at 7:17am and my parking pass that was displayed on my dash enabled me to park until 7:55 am. I understood that it was a handicap spot but because the UW official told me I could park there and the temporary signs were up, I assumed there would be no issues.

I'm appealing the ticket which I've only done one other time which was again for my ticket freshman year (which I was denied). Though I've heard that if you get denied the first time and then submit a written appeal you almost always get the ticket and fine voided :) Still not a fun process but I have hope...

ANYWAYS we have two games this weekend (today and Sunday) and are traveling to Utah to play Sunday. So I'll be out of town and my to-do list will get ignored for another few days but I'm okay with that I guess :) GO POKES!