Monday, May 23, 2011

Kind of Stressed

I must say that it has just been one of those weeks where nothing tough, bad, or typically stressful happened but I was overwhelmed none the less. I came home for a few days to finish up some final things in Colorado Springs before my parents move to Arizona (their destination keeps changing but this one seems to be pretty final). I didn't plan on meeting up with people but I let a few know I was in town and if they wanted to meet I'd try to work it out but all I really came home to do was see my brother, pack up anything I wanted from the house, and relax before summer workouts pick up and zap all the energy out of me.

It was the little things that kept nagging at me and stressing me out the last few days. For example, since my parents are trying to sell the house and are currently showing it that means we have to keep it spotless and staged 24/7. Having a clean house is no different than normal but it's still stressful as there is actually a good reason for it now. Besides selling the house and the physical act of moving, I'm struggling to understand how I feel about my parents leaving CO. It was convenient to have them relatively close while being in college and my relationship with them has grown so much too but I finally established roots in one place (Colorado Springs) and no where else will ever be quite the same. I can't imagine a Christmas break where the only people I see are my family because I know NO ONE else in the area. I'm not sad nor happy I'm just unsure of what I think about it.

I'm also going to miss these guys when my parents move!
Lastly, I need some advice but have a limited number of people who I can seek it from. I made several BIG mistakes my sophomore and junior year of high school and I hurt a lot of people and unfortunately I've had to work really hard to gain trust back and I know it's been just as hard for them to trust me again. So at this point I'm not at a place with anyone where I can walk them through what I'm thinking without feeling judged but I also know that I have to find someone soon or I'll go crazy.

I can't wait to get back to laramie where I have my own place AND my own car where freedom isn't a goal it's what I have!


Beth said...

A. Wow, I'm out of touch. I didn't know your parents were even officially moving.

B. At least in Arizona there are pools to go to if you don't know anyone. A pool, an iced coffee (for me), a good book.... best day ever.

C. May I say that I do trust you? I do. And I hope you know the difference between my concern sometimes and my judging... I try really hard not to judge. And regardless of everything, you are loved. Lots.

D. Can you write me? I am short on phone call time this week and I want to hear from you.

Z said...

I feel completely out of the loop as well. I feel horrible that you think you have no one to share your thoughts with who won't judge you. May I remind you that I am always here if you ever need it. I hope that you know how much I love and admire you. Oh, and you better come and visit me or I'll be very upset with you. I hope that your week got better and less stressed. Talk to you soon Carmen.