Kind of Stressed

I must say that it has just been one of those weeks where nothing tough, bad, or typically stressful happened but I was overwhelmed none the less. I came home for a few days to finish up some final things in Colorado Springs before my parents move to Arizona (their destination keeps changing but this one seems to be pretty final). I didn't plan on meeting up with people but I let a few know I was in town and if they wanted to meet I'd try to work it out but all I really came home to do was see my brother, pack up anything I wanted from the house, and relax before summer workouts pick up and zap all the energy out of me.

It was the little things that kept nagging at me and stressing me out the last few days. For example, since my parents are trying to sell the house and are currently showing it that means we have to keep it spotless and staged 24/7. Having a clean house is no different than normal but it's still stressful as there is actually a good reason for it now. Besides selling the house and the physical act of moving, I'm struggling to understand how I feel about my parents leaving CO. It was convenient to have them relatively close while being in college and my relationship with them has grown so much too but I finally established roots in one place (Colorado Springs) and no where else will ever be quite the same. I can't imagine a Christmas break where the only people I see are my family because I know NO ONE else in the area. I'm not sad nor happy I'm just unsure of what I think about it.

I'm also going to miss these guys when my parents move!

Lastly, I need some advice but have a limited number of people who I can seek it from. I made several BIG mistakes my sophomore and junior year of high school and I hurt a lot of people and unfortunately I've had to work really hard to gain trust back and I know it's been just as hard for them to trust me again. So at this point I'm not at a place with anyone where I can walk them through what I'm thinking without feeling judged but I also know that I have to find someone soon or I'll go crazy.

I can't wait to get back to laramie where I have my own place AND my own car where freedom isn't a goal it's what I have!

I'm Decorating

I moved into my new place and I just now realized how bare the walls look. My roommates and I thought it would be great if we used my photography to decorate as it would save some money and we could make them any size/ color we wanted. We haven't chosen any specific ones yet but I really like some of the older black and white ones I've done but I'll let them have the final say considering I like them all otherwise I wouldn't have taken them/ kept them.

These aren't necessarily the ones going up in our house they're just ones I've recently taken or added something to...

Portland, OR

Laramie, WY (Huck Finn Pond)

Laramie, WY (found this creek near my house)

Seaside, OR

Colorado Springs, CO

Only the Good Die Young

In the beginning of the year, not long after preseason, Ruben Narcisse died in car accident. He was a freshman football player here at the University of Wyoming and though I didn't know him well his face was familiar in the dorms, cafeteria, and athletic facilities. I ran into frequently in he morning before classes and we always exchanged a simple smile when it happened. He is gone. The football team made a line from Ruben's dorm room, down the stairs, and to a car outside and with tears in their eyes each person held his belongings before passing them along to the next person until they reached the car. It's not that I've never seen people cry but there is something about seeing 30+ grown men openly shedding tears. I never wanted to see something like that again.

In January, I watched from a distance as my friends back home celebrated the life of an incredible young man who, like Ruben, never got the chance to grow old. Though Brad suffered from a muscle condition and his life here was filled with pain, it still hurt knowing that he could have done incredible things here. (read more about Brad towards the end of this post). Life is a precious gift that could end at any time and no matter the circumstances, it hurts the people left here.

I believe everything happens for reason but I couldn't understand why these two people had to die. What reason justifies death? Though I still don't have the answer to that question, It's comforting to know that someone does have the answer. But it doesn't make it any easier especially when tragedy strikes again as it did.

Last Saturday another UW athlete died unexpectedly. If any student dies it is hard but losing another athlete is heartbreaking. It's impossible to not have had some interaction with any one of the other athletes and David was no exception. He was the president of SAAC (student athlete advisory committee) and the captain of the men's swim team. The hardest part about David's death was the timing of it. David fell from one of the higher levels of our football stadium early saturday morning and was found around 7:00am. David was scheduled to walk at graduation that same afternoon with a bachelors degree in Geology. Just hours away from graduating his life ended and instead of his family getting to see him walk they came instead to bring him back to Casper, WY where the memorial services where held on Thursday. About twenty athletes and six coaches who normally would have attended (including myself) were unable because we were traveling Wyoming for Sports Festival (David was supposed to come).

It's not fair that these young men all died before they could live out their dreams or impact more lives but everything happens for a reason...

You might have heard I run with a dangerous crowd

We ain't too pretty we ain't too proud

We might be laughing a bit to loud

But that never hurt no one

But only the good die young

What A Week!

I'm back from traveling Wyoming with a few of the University of Wyoming athletes and it sure is nice to sleep in my own bed (a mighty comfy one at that)! We were gone for five days, traveling over 1025 miles, putting on 10 sports clinics each including six different sports. We stopped in nine different cities, most of which I'd never heard of, and worked with about 6,000 kids! At the end of each clinic we signed autographs for thirty minutes and it was hilarious to see all the kids lining up just to get a name written on their shirt. I felt famous :) The teachers seemed more excited for the autographs than the kids.

Being in a bus that long was hard but I was grateful that I'm only 5' 9" unlike most of the volleyball, basketball, and football players. Their legs barely fit into the seats and I felt bad for one of our basketball guys who is 6'11" as he couldn't even stand up on the bus. Even with that many hours in a bus we passed the time with movies, games, and long naps (kids are exhausting) and the BEAUTIFUL weather made it a very scenic journey. By far the best part of the trip was walking into gym/auditorium/cafeteria filled with hundreds of kids and teachers talking and when they saw us filing in they began screaming and clapping so loud that our heads hurt for the rest of the day (but it was worth it).

Did I mention that kids are hilarious! Here are just a few of the things we heard throughout the week

"I could dunk too if the basket was lower" -7yo boy not impressed by one of our basketball guys' 180 dunk

"Why don't football players carry ropes? Then all they'd have to do is lasso the other team instead of tackling them" -8yo boy who didn't want to tackle the pads at the football station

"Are any of the boy athletes single?" -10yo girl who wanted to go on a date with one of the guys

"Do our teachers pay you to sign autographs?"
"No we just like doing it"
"I don't believe you"-6yo girl

"For being in college and all you guys have horrible handwriting" -11yo girl referring to our signatures (it was a bit difficult to write on t-shirts though)

"Do you use steroids?"
"We are not allowed to"
"That didn't stop those baseball guys. Is that why there are no baseball players traveling with you guys? Did they get in trouble for using steroids" -10yo boy talking to one of the football players (we don't even have a baseball team)

And by far the funniest of the whole week!
When we arrived at each school we introduced ourselves to all the kids and did something fun with them like a cheer or quick competition that required some volunteers from the audience. This what happened when the wrestling coach introduced his wrestlers.

"This is Shane from Oklahoma. He wrestles 149 pounds for us"
"WHOOOAAAHH"-all the kids in unison
"This is Lealand and he wrestles one 197 for us"
"WHOOOOAAHHH" (all the kids)...
 then one kid said, "I think he ways more than my mom and dad combined!
*It was so funny because the wrestling coach had been doing the same intro all week and only this school's kids were so amazed by the weights. We all had a good laugh about it

Only in Wyoming do kids show up in wranglers (with huge belt buckles), cowboy boots, cowboy hats, ready to play some soccer... gotta love small towns.

Packing Up and Moving Out

I'm going from this tiny half of a dorm room

To this spacious number!

Living Room, Bathroom and Kitchen (temporary futon until we get furniture)

Kitchen (quite possibly the best part about moving out of the dorms but laundry machines are a close second)

My room and roommate (there is a lot more space behind her to but it's a bad angle)

The rest of the room