Trip to the ER...

There will be no pictures today but I do have quite the story to tell.

For the past few days I've had some severe stomach pain and two nights ago I finally had enough and let (not without a fight) my roommates take me to the hospital. Actually, I had passed out and it freaked everyone out enough to call my coach and ask him what to do and of course he said head to the ER. The doctors thought I had appendicitis so they shipped me off to get a CT scan, which thankfully showed that I didn't have appendicitis but they found something else that was just as alarming. They found a large dermoid cyst on my right ovary and they were concerned that it may be causing torsion (or twisting) of my ovary.

A friend who got off work at midnight came to relieve my roommate who had stayed with me until 1am, despite having workouts at 6am. Shortly after the trade off, the doctors came back wanting to do an ultrasound to see if they could get a better view of the cyst and determine if I needed emergency surgery to remove it. For unknown reasons (just unlucky anatomy I guess) they could barely see my ovaries but they did see some blood flow which was an encouraging sign. Because they saw some blood flow they didn't think two days would cause any more harm such as death to the ovary and/or infection but it meant the pain might not go away anytime soon and I'd just have to get an appointment with a specialist and have them run more tests to determine the urgency of the situation and the treatment.

So after being in the ER for almost seven hours, one screwed up IV, one good IV, three doses of morphine, three friends willing to spend their night with me, a couple of extremely awkward moments, many hilarious quotes fueled by drugs, and finally a diagnoses, I'm free for a few days and am just playing the waiting game. Hopefully, the waiting doesn't go into preseason because that could definitely cause some issues with 3-a-day soccer practices.

Thanks everyone for being there for me especially the three friends who spent some of their night sitting in an uncomfortable chair next to a hospital bed. You guys are the best!

Click it Up a Notch Photography Contest

Don't Cry Over Spilt... Water

I've been waiting for it to rain for the last few days so I could photograph the individual droplets hitting the ground. But since it hadn't rained and it didn't seem like it was going to, I decided to make my own rain! I filled a cake pan with water and stood a piece of paper up in it as the backdrop. Then I filled a ziplock bag with water, poked a hole in it and taped it to the wall above the cake pan so that it would drip in the same spot repeatedly at regular intervals. I set up my camera (one of the few times I wish I had a tripod) so that it focused on the spot the drop of water always hit and began snapping photos like crazy. After messing with the lighting, ISO, and shutter speed, I was able to snap a few good pictures BUT I also managed to spill about a gallon of water on the floor and my dripping contraption turned out not to be very stable. I hope that next time I try this I will have a tripod, a better dripping device, and a lot less spilt water. My roommates will be thankful that we don't pay for our own water after this little project.

Of course, it started to rain after I finished setting up all of this and instead of being mad I just went and took pictures of the real rain too!

They didn't turn out great but it was fun to play in the rain

Camera Love

After a few LONG days of working a soccer camp (where I played more than coached) it was nice to be able to relax and finally start messing with my new camera! These are the unedited photos that came of it...
  

Don't be Anxious in ANYTHING

Knowing I wouldn't get to see any of my aunts, uncles, or cousins my mom and I made a last minute trip to  Nebraska. We had an uneventful ride out there and made it there in time for dinner, which was the plan. We stayed with one of my uncle's and his family and with seven kids their house was quite chaotic all the time (but it was definitely welcomed). We went to the children's museum and I'll admit that I might have enjoyed some of the activities more than the kids. On Wednesday we walked to a local park and the older kids drove RC cars around (quite dangerously might I add) while the younger kids and my mom played some intense games of four square. But besides those two things we just stayed at their house and enjoyed each other's company.

I wish adults enjoyed themselves as much as kids do

The last night we were there we went to a AAA baseball game and on the way home we got a nail in our tire and though we didn't know it at the time that was the beginning of a long day of complications. Since the tire wasn't flat we waited until morning to get it fixed, so on our way back home we stopped and found out that it was unrepairable. They had to replace all four tires because you can't just replace one or two on an all wheel drive car. After waiting there for a while and receiving nearly 800 dollars worth of rubber, we finally got back on the road. Barely out of Lincoln my mom decided that a rash she'd had for the entire trip to NE was unbearable and needed immediate attention. So we stopped at an urgent care clinic and in an hour or so we're out of there with prescriptions and a mom who's a tad bit less itchy (I was relieved that she was not contagious... So instead of getting out of Lincoln around 8:30am we are barely leaving Lincoln at 12:30.

But EVERYTHING worked out and all is good! We received almost complete reimbursement for the tires and so far it looks like my mom's rash is clearing up and OH YEAH my brother is ok. Let me fill you in on that one...

Me getting some little kid time in with 4 of the 7 kids

On thursday (after the nail decided to puncture our tire) we found out that my brother was hit by a fork lift while working. He works at a moving company and I guess he was getting out of a truck and was pinned to the truck when the fork lift hit him. His co workers wanted to take him to the ER but he said that he was ok even though his leg was pretty gnarly. He ended up just having a REALLY bruised leg and some road rash type stuff but he's totally fine.

All I can say is God is good and though we face hard times He will always provide for us and get us through.

Lovely Hike

This morning I went on a lovely hike with a friend where after a while we went to separate spots to rest and have some quiet time. As we walked we talked though being honest and open with people doesn't come naturally for me but I've been working really hard to overcome my tendencies to hold back. As we hiked together I felt a connection with nature, with God, and with my friend that I've never really felt before. I felt REAL! As if I finally connected with a world that I've always felt distant from. I was completely involved in our conversation and at the same time was enthralled by the beauty of nature.

We came across a small creek and decided that it would be a good place to split up and find a spot to do our own thing. After sitting down on a sun soaked log near the running water, I pulled out a book that a friend had loaned me. The book, titled TrueFaced: trust God and others with who you really are (how fitting, right?), examines the cruel cycle of sin and it's effect on us.

Sin ----->----->----->   Involuntary Response ----->----->----->   Inevitable Effect
-our own                    - guilt                         /                            -shame, blame, fear,
-against us                 - hurt                         /                               denial, anger
                                                                  /
                                                               <
OR we can not let the inevitable effect take place and instead let God heal us where we don't have the capacity to heal ourselves, releasing us from whatever hurt or guilt we may be experiencing.

Anyways, I began to consider which effects I've let take hold of my life and was surprised to find that each one has taken hold of different aspects of my life. I found myself in a very deep place of thought and for the first time I wasn't afraid to be there. I allowed myself to feel every emotion as it came and went. YES it went! They didn't stay forever and once I had experienced what it felt like to be ashamed, sorry, fearful, and angry I no longer felt burdened by these emotions and instead felt free in them. I've realized that by distancing myself from people I've only kept myself from healing and have allowed guilt to cripple me.

Learning to be real with myself and others will take time but I've never made so much progress in one day!

AND I EVEN HAD MY CAMERA!!!!!