Honest Thoughts

People who know me, know that I'm talkative and enjoy deep conversations but usually find out pretty quickly outgoing and talkative doesn't mean that I'm open. Honesty is something I've been working on for the past few years and am learning what it means to be honest with myself and others through open communication. I used to find some kind of pleasure in secrecy, half truths, and ultimately lies as they kept people from knowing what I was really thinking. Genius right?... No. Definitely not! I was unhappy, full of guilt and I nearly ruined every good relationship I ever had (though I still feel that way sometimes) So here's to being honest and confessing the sins as well as victories in my life (and any other random things that are on my mind)

I got myself a tripod and hands free shutter button

1. School began this week and I'm so happy that I've already started off much better than I did last semester. Minus one class (Medical Microbiology) that is four days of lecture and two labs a week my schedule is pretty mellow AND with one class on Monday and none on Friday I pretty much have a four day weekend every week (though two days will be spent working)

2. Soccer has also started back up, if you can even call it that. It's that time of year again where 6am trainings consists of only weight lifting and conditioning with some occasional "I didn't sign up for this kind of torture." But we break up into three different teams each week and the conditioning is an ongoing competition between the teams (relay races, one on one battles, and team building events). I must say it's 100 times better mentally than the conditioning last year though it's much more physical and challenging.

and these are some of the pictures that came of it (click on them)

3. Speaking of soccer we no longer have a coach. After a VERY successful season, Division I programs from all over were recruiting him to come coach and flip their program around like he did ours. So, needless to say, he left (and took both assistants with him) to a school in the Pac 12 and despite how hard it is that he left us, I know it was the best move for his family. Our strength and conditioning coach is taking over our team temporarily as the Athletic Directors are interviewing new coaches. They've narrowed it down to 20 coaches who've previously coached at DI schools out of 120 applicants (and that's the just for head coach). The way coaching works is the head coach gets hired an then he decides who his assistants will be. AND there's a chance that we might get a SHE not a he which would definitely be interesting.

*getting a little more personal*
4. My anxiety was RIDICULOUS over break. I didn't have much going on except work but sitting at home and just relaxing never quite felt like it should. My heart would race when I'd think about anything related to school or hanging out with people and I couldn't get it to stop unless I found an adequate distraction such as art, work, or sleeping :) With a regular schedule and my life getting back to normal it's definitely getting better and it's lovely.

5. I'M SORE!!!!! and if there's one thing that can put a kink in my day it's being sore. It means I worked hard and pushed myself but it also means that I dread any kind of movement. AND I have workouts tomorrow morning at 6am and let's just say that if anything requires movement of my legs I might break down and cry.

6. I'm really excited about a fresh start with school and soccer so much so that I almost can't wait to go to class and soccer (the "almost" is because of soccer). My goal is to get a 4.0 this semester. It's possible. It will be hard. I'm going to struggle at times. But I'm fully capable if I step it up. I need to start living and working for God again and not for men as Colossians 3:23 says because exhaustion only sets in when your rewards are eternal. I would really appreciate any prayers regarding motivation, strength, and trusting God (or anything else you might want to pray for).

7. To be honest I had a horrible last semester but I have hope that this one will be MUCH better. So far so good.