Who Would Have Thought

The chances of me writing about this topic again in the near future aren't good but I am doing my best to enjoy writing/ thinking about it now (or at least find humor in it). Considering the title of my blog is "More Like Falling in Love" you'd think that I'd know the feeling of falling in love with someone other than Christ but I haven't and never thought I would... until recently. 

My thoughts on "the whole love thing", dating, and marriage have always been complicated, to say the least. I've always told people I NEVER wanted to marry because I'm scared to let someone get to know me and care about me on a deeper level. Besides, I came to believe that I'd never find a guy who was capable of loving me like that anyway. I'm also terrified that with marriage comes kids (usually) and I don't know if I could ever handle the responsibility of growing children into caring and honest people of God. I love playing with kids, laughing with them, and teaching them but I don't want to be the person to blame if I mess up and they "turn out bad." I know everyone worries about these things but I've done more than worry about for the last few years and I finally gave up and just said no. I decided I'd never pursue any relationships and ultimately never get married because it was just easier to say no to all of it then wrestle with fears about some of it... But of course, I wouldn't be writing this if God didn't have different plans for my life and though I am uncomfortable and scared out of my mind I've decided to take a chance and let myself...

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well uh... 

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I can't believe I'm saying this... 

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FALL IN LOVE.