Value

It's been a while since I've posted and there's no good reason for it but hopefully I'll get back on top of things.

This is a completely unrelated picture other than the
fact that I did go on a hike Friday morning 

The past few days have been filled with new experiences and God made himself known in every one. I completed my clinicals to become a CNA (certified nursing assistant) and I'm definitely going to miss working at the nursing home and taking care of all the residents there. In the small amount of time I worked there I felt God laying one thing in particular on my heart. This world is not our home! The money we have earned, the things we have bought nor the accomplishments we've worked for will matter when we reach the end of our life here on this earth. In the nursing home we have a man who has his doctorate and used to be the lead veterinary researcher at UW, we have a man who served in WWII and has more honor medals than any soldier I've ever met, we have a women who paints landscapes full of color and life, but we also have a women who was an alcoholic for so long that she now has alcoholic dementia, we have a man who has been homeless for years and returns cans to get enough money to eat at the nursing home. All of these peoples' lives before the nursing home were much different some were educated and living the high life, some were free spirited movement leaders, and others never escaped the poor life they were born into but now they all live in one place, cared for in the same way and fed the same food regardless of their income or quality of life before. I imagine this is what heaven will be like (but hopefully with better food). It will be a place where people lose all sense of materialism while they share the exact same abundant life.

On a completely different note, I spent nearly my entire day with the Schultz family and I loved every minute of it from planting tomato plants outside to reading books to a their little girl snuggling in my arms. My intentions were not to stay over for very long but there's something about their family that made me want to continue to stay.

I'm reading this book called Captivating that details the wonders of a women's heart and it asks a question that I couldn't answer until yesterday "what is your irreplaceable roll?" and I realized that being irreplaceable doesn't mean no one else can ever fill that roll it just mean that in that moment I was the only one who could. I felt irreplaceable all day even thought I wasn't doing anything profound and was more of an "extra" to the scene but when I was reading with their little girl it gave her mom a chance to get some things done and I was able to grab ingredients or entertain the kids while the parents were occupied in the kitchen making our dinner. Though if I hadn't been there they would have found ways to get everything done while keeping the kids and dog entertained and out of trouble, I still felt irreplaceable because I had made their life just a little bit easier. God showed me that who I am and what I do does have value and is important.

Life is Good

I didn't really know what to expect for this summer. I knew I'd be alone in a house, have odd jobs here and there, and have freedom to go and do as I pleased but I forgot about one thing... Soccer. You'd think soccer would be the first thing I would have planned into the summer but I didn't and quite honestly I was disappointed when I realized it would have a huge part of my summer. I guess I thought that workouts would be on my own and I could plan the workouts around my schedule for the summer because during the year it's the opposite but when you're in town for the summer we have practice, conditioning, and weights at a scheduled time just as we do during school. 3:15pm-5:30pm everyday is still soccer and then drop-in soccer (a group of talented guys get together and the cowgirls are invited to join) is at 5:30pm and 8:30pm and the coach has made it one of those "optional but mandatory" kind of things.

I don't remember how it got from this

to flying saves to...

to autographing t-shirts for Wyoming fans but it did and I'm grateful!

So you're probably going, "I thought the title of this post was life is good?" Well, life is good! I've decided that soccer can consume my time but it doesn't have to consume me. I'll go to the practices, runs, and weights everyday and I'll go to the drop-ins if I don't have any plans. I'm a bit worried about the consequences but I NEED a break from soccer and the only time I'll get it is during the summer so I'm going to make sure I get it.

I still have my mornings so I'm not going to spend them moping around the house dreading practice besides, 3pm-6pm is my least favorite part of day so why not spend it with people that I've grown to love and let them make it just a little more enjoyable (more about in a later post)?

So here's to a summer of "me time", relationships, fun, creativity and just a little bit of soccer :)

Really?

Just when I said my parents were moving to Arizona it changed again and as much as I'd like to say that I'm annoyed by their indecisiveness I realize it's a big decision and I'm actually really thankful that they have 100% decided to move to...

DENVER

After looking practically all over the country for a place to go, my dad accepted a job in Denver. My mom will probably continue working at Denver Health and that means I might still have connections there when I graduate which may be convenient PLUS I'd love to work with my mom in that kind of setting! So after stressing about where they'd move I now know. If only I could convince them to keep the house in Colorado Springs :)

Kind of Stressed

I must say that it has just been one of those weeks where nothing tough, bad, or typically stressful happened but I was overwhelmed none the less. I came home for a few days to finish up some final things in Colorado Springs before my parents move to Arizona (their destination keeps changing but this one seems to be pretty final). I didn't plan on meeting up with people but I let a few know I was in town and if they wanted to meet I'd try to work it out but all I really came home to do was see my brother, pack up anything I wanted from the house, and relax before summer workouts pick up and zap all the energy out of me.

It was the little things that kept nagging at me and stressing me out the last few days. For example, since my parents are trying to sell the house and are currently showing it that means we have to keep it spotless and staged 24/7. Having a clean house is no different than normal but it's still stressful as there is actually a good reason for it now. Besides selling the house and the physical act of moving, I'm struggling to understand how I feel about my parents leaving CO. It was convenient to have them relatively close while being in college and my relationship with them has grown so much too but I finally established roots in one place (Colorado Springs) and no where else will ever be quite the same. I can't imagine a Christmas break where the only people I see are my family because I know NO ONE else in the area. I'm not sad nor happy I'm just unsure of what I think about it.

I'm also going to miss these guys when my parents move!

Lastly, I need some advice but have a limited number of people who I can seek it from. I made several BIG mistakes my sophomore and junior year of high school and I hurt a lot of people and unfortunately I've had to work really hard to gain trust back and I know it's been just as hard for them to trust me again. So at this point I'm not at a place with anyone where I can walk them through what I'm thinking without feeling judged but I also know that I have to find someone soon or I'll go crazy.

I can't wait to get back to laramie where I have my own place AND my own car where freedom isn't a goal it's what I have!